Nerd Werd

The Meat

So I've been asked to explain "the meat."

Short Story: An unknown person knocks on my door. He offers me a discount on meat which he has in his car. I buy the meat.

Long Story:
I hear a knock on my front door. I know it's an unknown person because no one I know would knock on my front door. When I get to the door, there's a guy walking away towards the neighbor across the street. He comes back and explains his situation.

He works for a meat delivery company, similar to Schwan's but only for meat. He's just made a delivery to one of my neighbors up the street. Now he has extra meat. It's unclear to me why he has extra meat. Perhaps my neighbor didn't buy all they ordered or maybe someone wasn't home to accept a delivery. Either way, he's got to get rid of this meat and his boss has told him to sell it for "a couple dollars per cut." This price is important.

He brings the meat in the house so I can see it and make my decision. I expected a few chunks of meat, what he brought in was two medium-sized boxes of meat. One box is chicken and one beef, each box containing 6 smaller boxes of meat of different cuts and flavors.

Once all the meat boxes are opened, my kithcen floor is covered with frozen meat. He tells me that the normal price is $440 for the beef, but he'll give it to me for the bargain price of $400.

$400! What happened to "a couple dollars per cut"? I was expecting maybe $50. Oh, but he'll give me the chicken for free. The chicken is normally $260. This deal is starting to look decent. There's still one thing that bothers me though - I don't know this guy and yet he wants me to trust him enough that I'll buy a large quantity of meat for a significant price.

I tell him that I just don't need this amount of meat right now. He assures me that this meat is good for at least a year in the freezer and it'll take me that long to eat it all anyway. Just to get rid of the meat, he'll call his "boss" and see if he can give me more of a discount. He goes outside to get his phone and make the call. I went outside as well and hear him talking to his "boss." I'm pretty sure he wasn't talking to anyone because he was talking bullshit. Either way, his "boss" says he can sell me the meat for $360. Great.

I'm still not sure. I've been told, "There better not be $400 of meat in my freezer when I get home."

He makes his final plea. If I don't buy the meat, he's got to take it back to the warehouse 30 miles away then drive home, which is somewhere near my house. Additionally, he'll have to pay a $20 per box restocking fee. To avoid this driving and restocking, he'll take off an additional $20 for restocking and $10 more for the gas money he'll save.

So where are we?
$440 beef + $260 chicken original price = $700
$400 offering price - $40 "boss" discount = $360
$360 - $20 restocking - $10 gas = $330

So, we're about 30 minutes into this negotiation, $370 less than the original price, $70 less than the offering price. I think I'm doing pretty well so I decide to buy the meat.

The guy gives me a flimsy, home-printed business card for "The Cattle Exchange," takes my credit card information, and gives me a receipt.

Here's what I ended up with:
6 boxes of beef - 2 tri-tips, 4 t-bones, 8 filets, 14 hamburgers, 8 new york strips, something else I can't remember
6 boxes of chicken - I can't remember all the flavors, but they're all breasts and thighs except one box of bbq drummies.

This is all premium meat. It's one step up in quality from what you're likely to get at the local supermarket. The meat is identical in quality to what is on offer at Omaha Steaks.

Now that I have more meat than I know what to do with, I have a couple problems. First, my floor is covered in frozen meat and I have a small freezer. Second, I don't know if I've gotten a good deal until I try the meat. The first problem lead me to the additional expense of purchasing a chest freezer. The second problem was quickly resolved at the first taste of the meat. It's good! This is by far the best meat I've ever cooked myself.

Buying meat from random people on the street isn't all bad, after all!

posted by Nick @ 1:31 PM